Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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