the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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