Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
