Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
PANTIES FOUND
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