...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
