Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
