Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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