Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
