Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
