Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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