idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
