i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had sex on a roof
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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