ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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