I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
