i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
