sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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