I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
