i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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