speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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