we have officially lost it.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
