the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
