Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
