They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
