Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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