I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
