i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
