So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
