i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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