Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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