Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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