she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
