So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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