apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
