I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
