You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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