i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have fence marks all over my body
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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