'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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