I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
