But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
