So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
