i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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