So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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