I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
