Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
