nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
