he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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