Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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