Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
