Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
