You really coming over, don't trick.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
