she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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