I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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