..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
