woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
