dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
