even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
